Archive for April, 2012

APRIL FOOL’S YOU FOOLS

Me last post was 100% false. Don’t be alarmed. Simply replace “my wife” with “a random whore”, “did NOT make love” with “had filthy sex all night long”, “grass” with “whiskey and beer soaked bacon chased with beer and whiskey”, “went to the opera” with “sang Irish drinking songs all night in a random bar with strangers”, “read a book” with “slept in a dirty alleyway with one-eyed cats and bags of garbage, still passed out from last night’s activities”….you know what? Everything is the opposite.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see a hooker about a barrel of Jameson. Ta-ta!

Advertisements

Sunday Day

This weekend was rather enjoyable, I must say. On Friday night, my lovely wife and I attended the opera. We saw Pagliacci. It was the most fun I’ve ever had. Ever! My wife and I retired to bed early. We did NOT make love.

On Saturday, I woke up early so I could go to the store and procure ingredients for a healthful breakfast of grass. I spent the afternoon reading a wonderful book called “The Bible”. For lunch, we feasted on grass and drank fresh milk from our gorgeous pet cow, Bitsy. That evening, we played board games until 8pm. It was quite wild. Our evening meal was grass sandwiches. Also, my wife and I once again, did NOT make love.

On Sunday, I woke up early, attended Church, and looked up some cute hairstyles for my lovely wife online. She is a treasure. We ate grass for every meal. This was a fun weekend!