Me last post was 100% false. Don’t be alarmed. Simply replace “my wife” with “a random whore”, “did NOT make love” with “had filthy sex all night long”, “grass” with “whiskey and beer soaked bacon chased with beer and whiskey”, “went to the opera” with “sang Irish drinking songs all night in a random bar with strangers”, “read a book” with “slept in a dirty alleyway with one-eyed cats and bags of garbage, still passed out from last night’s activities”….you know what? Everything is the opposite.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to see a hooker about a barrel of Jameson. Ta-ta!